Will Smith embarrassing Jaden has got to be one of my all time favorite things
A small puppy wandered up to U.S. Marines from Alpha Company, 1st Battalion 6th Marines, in Marjah, Afghanistan on *****. After following the Marines numorous miles, a soft hearted Marine picked the puppy up and carried the puppy in his drop pouch. (Official U.S. Marine Corps photo by Cpl Charles T. Mabry II)
LOOK AT THAT PUPPY
LOOK AT THAT MOTHER FUCKING PUPPY
A Mom went to have dinner with her son who lives with his roommate.
During the course of the meal, his mother couldn’t help but notice how handsome his roommate was. She had been suspicious about her sons sexuality but being a good mother she felt that he would let her know if and when the time was right but seeing the two together just made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the interaction between the two she wondered even more if there was more here than meets the eye. Her son, sensing his mothers watchfully eye volunteered, “really Mom, I can tell what you’re thinking and you can just get it out of your mind, we are just roommates and nothing more”.
About a week later the roommate remarked, “ever since your mother was here the silver serving platter has been missing, do you think she took it?”
He responded, “Well I’m sure she didn’t but I will email her and ask just to be sure” he sat down and wrote:
I’m not saying you did take the silver platter from the house and I am not saying you didn’t take it but the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.
A couple days later he got a response from his mother:
I am not saying that you do sleep with your roommate and I am not saying that you don’t sleep with him and you know I love you and could care less either way but the fact remains that if he was sleeping in his own bed he would have found the platter under his pillow.
When are the two of you coming for dinner?
So I’m re-reading Philosopher’s Stone and I finally notice something. The night Harry first finds the Mirror of Erised is Christmas night. Rowling wrote it so Harry gets to spend Christmas with his family.
My heart just broke
The sound I maDE WAS NOT HUMAN
do animals think in english or in the sounds they make
this is what yahoo paid $1.1 billion for
i don’t understand why parents say ‘i’m very disappointed in you’ like i don’t care i’m very disappointed that mcdonalds doesn’t deliver but u don’t hear me complaining about it
actually in new york they deliver so whats your excuse
i live in australia and im 103% sure they don’t deliver from new york to australia so whats YOUR excuse for leaving a shitty comment on my text post
nicki in the background
oHMYGOD taylor’s like “i feel you bro you call them out on their shit” and nicki’s like “gurl he means you”
does anyone else see the guy way back there. that guy that suddenly appears and points at taylor
omg wht was the name of this show !
Apples in suits.
grapes in tuxedos
Mangoes in formal attire.
Cashews in garter belts
Watermelons in swimwear.
Peaches in G-strings
The happy holocaust
The Boys in the Striped Pajamas
The night of the living dildos
So my mom and I have been working the same waitress job for 5-6 years now. She had been waitressing years before, but this is recently. Anyway, about… 15 minutes ago this guy she waited on left and told her to take care. Just that. Prior to this she had talked to him about Italy. Her people are from Florence, this and that, and she said she’s never been. She’s got 8 years of art education and she’s working a waitress job. It’s pretty… Sad and disappointing, I guess. Her and my father divorced 6 years ago and she hasn’t had a real job ever. Just been stuck in a small town she’s not from.
This man who we have never seen before tipped her 1000 dollars for a trip to Italy. Walked out, not another word.
Why does’t this have more notes